Baby Daddy Drama
by Dead Pan Contest
Summary: Nearly two years after Sookie gives birth, she is talked into appearing on the Lafayette Reynolds Show to find out who the father is. This is A/H and a bit OOC, but good clean Jerry Springer fun!


**The Dead Pan Contest**

**Title: Baby Daddy Drama**

**Story/movie parodied: Jerry Springer**

**Characters: Sookie, Lafayette, Eric, Bill, Alcide, Sam, Quinn, Amelia and Jason**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own these great characters, I'm just adding to the fun!

**Summary:** Nearly two years after Sookie gives birth, she is talked into appearing on the Lafayette Reynolds Show to find out who the father is. This is A/H and a bit OOC, but good clean Jerry Springer fun!

Teaser:

When the lights came back up, I could see all of my former lovers sitting across from me. Lafayette broke the tension for everyone. "Well alrighty then, Sookie, you asked to address the guys, now is your time while we wait for the DNA results. I want ya'll to know that I expect you to behave like the adults you is. I will not have any chair throwing or fighting. This ain't Jerry Springer after all!"

I wasn't sure I could do this after all. The five men I slept with were all staring at me. Bill and Quinn could have shot lightening bolts out of their eyes. Alcide, I saw pity. Sam and Eric, I'm not sure, but they were both smiling at me.

I stood up so I could address them all properly, "Um, first off, I'd like to thank you all for coming today. I know this isn't the best way to be meeting you all again, but I had to know. I'm sorry for not telling you that I was pregnant. I was ashamed that I did not know who the father is. I want you to know that I do NOT expect anything from you. I didn't do this for money. I needed to know for my own piece of mind. I will not be seeking child support, and if you want, you can sign away your rights as the father. My daughter and I have been doing alright on our own. I have Amelia and a neighbor to watch her if needed. Please, please believe me when I tell you that I don't want anything from you."

I was sitting in a darkened television studio waiting for my turn to be interviewed. I have been gone for over two years and not many people have known where I was. Amelia and my brother Jason knew, but I ran from my past. I have to say that I am a changed woman. But today my present world will butt heads with my past and I am scared to death.

I hear the producers call 'Quiet on the set' and my stomach is in knots. It's now or never and I have to know the truth.

Over the loudspeaker, I hear the announcer get the crowd wound up for the host to come out. When the cameras roll, he booms, "Ladies and Gentleman, please put your hands together for your host of 'The Lafayette Reynolds Show'; Lafayette Reynolds!"

The crowd goes wild with applause as a thin black man enters the set. He is quite tall and muscular. He is wearing a purple suit with sequins down the lapels. His silk shirt is a lighter shade of purple and he has make up and jewelry completing the outfit. Everyone knows how popular Lafayette Reynolds is. He is an icon for the talk show circuit, not to mention the Gay/Lesbian rights.

My attention is drawn to him as he starts his opening monologue, "Hello, Hello, my darling audience! I assure you we have a favorite topic for today's show. I know you all love the drama that comes with 'Who's the Baby Daddy' and today I promise not to disappoint! Today we have a young lady who wants to find out who the father of her child is. Let's welcome our guest today, Ms. Sookie Stackhouse." The crowd applauds.

The lights come up where I am sitting and Lafayette comes to great me. We shake hands as the crowd settles down. When he sits down in the chair opposite me, his demeanor is all business.

"So, Ms. Stackhouse, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself."

"Please, call me Sookie. Um, ok, well I write children's books, which have done really well, and I have a one and a half year old daughter and I want to find out who the father is. I need to know for my own well being."

"Alright, Sookie, tell me why you haven't the foggiest idea who the daddy might be?"

I blushed, "I never like to talk much about my former self, but I was quite promiscuous when I was younger."

"Uh huh, so are you telling me that there could possibly be more than one daddy out there? Please tell me you used protection."

"Yes, and yes. When I was in college, I liked to party, and more often sleep around. I'm not proud of how I used to be, but having my little girl around has made a world of difference for me."

"Honey child, you is a mess! Please tell me you have cleaned yourself up?"

"Oh, yes, I have actually. When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped sleeping around. I left Louisiana and moved to Upstate NY. I have a good job and a great group of friends. They were the ones who told me about your show. I really hope you can help me."

"Before now, have you ever tried to contact any of these men?"

Ashamed, I hung my head, "No, I was too embarrassed. I mean, I couldn't call up the guys and ask for a DNA sample without telling them why. Plus I'm pretty sure they are not still here in Louisiana any longer."

"Why don't you tell me what happened and why you don't know who the dad is."

"When I was in college, I didn't date anyone seriously. I was focused on my schooling and my writing and didn't want to bother with a relationship. I thought if I had a fling it was easier, no attachments. I guess I was wrong huh?"

"OK, the picture is clearing up a little more. I am not a doctor, but I can tell you there are only certain times you can conceive. How is it that you don't know?"

I swallowed hard, "Um, I was born with only one ovary and I was very irregular right from the start. I was told in my teens, that I may never be able to have children. I had been on the pill from an early age, to try and regulate my system. In fact I didn't know I was pregnant until I went to the doctor with what I thought was a stomach bug. Since my cycle is so irregular, I couldn't pin point when my last one started, therefore the conception date is a mystery."

He reached across to touch my hand in reassurance. "I understand Sweetie, so what happened next? I mean do you know what order and who you slept with to determine a timeline?"

"Like I said, I didn't date, so I only had casual sex, sort of friends with benefits. Then when we all partied, it was different. We would hook up for the night, and go our separate ways in the morning." I took a big breath in and blew it out to continue. "Around the time I think I conceived during our last semester, I slept with five different guys. Now before you get all up in my shit for doing that, let me explain. I had a few classes with this guy Eric. We had gone on a few casual dates with other people, but always ended up together for the night. One night we were supposed to all go out, Eric cancelled."

" I was upset but shrugged it off as no big deal. While we were out, we saw him with another girl and they were all over each other. That night I slept with Sam more out of being comforted than anything. Don't get me wrong, Sam is good looking, but nothing compared to Eric. I apologized to Sam the next day and it never happened again. That was the last time I saw Eric before we all graduated."

"The next week or so I had a few casual dates with Bill, Quinn and Alcide. Over the span of two weeks, I had slept with them all a few times different nights. I think back and realize that I was just trying to get Eric out of my system, I never let a man get to me that way. So here I am today trying to figure out who my little girl's daddy is."

Lafayette asked me something that I never thought I would have to answer. "Who do you wish was the father?"

I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out. Tears streamed down my face and I had to take a minute to compose myself. When I could speak, I said, "Honestly, Lafayette, I just want to know who is the father. I've lived with my secret for almost two years and it's time for me to grow up and accept what I have done."

Lafayette smiled at me, "Well, I have good news for you, all five of the guys are here! Now before you get too excited, they don't know you are here. They were brought in under the belief that a college room mate was looking for them and will be reunited with old friends. They are all currently in individual sound proof booths. I am going to ask you to go off stage so we can bring them on one by one. You will be able to see and hear each one, but they won't be able to see you. We have a picture of you that we will show them."

"Wow, Lafayette, that's great, but I'm really nervous about this. And I want you to know that I don't expect or need anything from any of them. I am financially set with my books, they have made me more money than I will ever need. So, I just want the father to know he has a daughter and it will be up to him if he wants to be part of her life."

"That's very sweet of you Sookie, but come on, you wouldn't want to have a fling with the daddy? I mean, you were close enough to make a child, why not get something out of it for yourself?"

I was getting a little angry, but held myself in check, "That's not who I am anymore. These people were my friends once, and I would hope to still be just friends."

He made a face toward the audience that I couldn't see, but they all laughed. "Well then, let's take a commercial break and bring out the potential daddies!"

Once the cameras were off, I was ushered into a holding room where I could see and hear everything. I was really starting to get nauseous thinking about what they would say. I mean it seems like so long ago, who knows if they would even remember me. Amelia was allowed in to keep me company. Together we watched the screens.

When they came back from break, I watched as Lafayette introduced first guy. It was Bill Compton, I groaned and hoped that he wasn't the dad.

"So let's welcome our first gentleman, Bill Compton! Welcome, Bill, have a seat."

Bill looked cool and collected as always, "Thank you, I'm not sure who is looking for me but I'm sure you will tell me right?"

Lafayette had a huge cheshire cat grin on his face, "Well, Bill, take a look at the monitor over there, do you recognize this face?"

Bill turned to look and his face fell, "Yes, I know her, that's Sookie Stackhouse." Grimacing he continued, "I knew her from when I was living in Louisiana, what is this about?"

"It seems that Ms. Stackhouse has a daughter and named you as a potential father. Would you consent to a DNA test?"

He looked livid, "WHAT!?? I can't possibly be the father, this is insane! I will consent to a test but I can tell you that I am not the father. I refuse to talk about this anymore, where do I go, I want my name cleared!" He got up so fast from his chair that he knocked it over in the process.

As Lafayette sent them into another commercial break, my heart pounded hoping that they all didn't think the way Bill did. I was starting to regret coming here. Amelia sat with me and held my hand. She was with me most of time at these parties, so she totally understood. We made a pact after I got pregnant, that we were done with that lifestyle.

The cameras were rolling again, we heard Lafayette again, "Next I'd like bring out Sam Merlotte. Sam, welcome to the show." My heart swelled, Sam was always my friend first, before anything else.

"Thank you, Lafayette. So, tell me, who wanted to reconnect with me?" Lafayette directed him to the same monitor that Bill had seen. "Sookie" Was all he said.

Lafayette asked him, "So, you know who this is?"

"Yes, yes of course, it's Sookie Stackhouse. Is she here? Is she in any trouble? Oh, Chere, we all miss you at home. Whatever it is, please come home."

The audience 'awwed' and I cried. Amelia hugged me waiting to see how Sam would take to news of potential fatherhood.

Lafayette forged on, "Sam, the reason we brought you here, is because when Sookie left town, she was pregnant. There is a little girl out there who we are not sure who the father is and wondered if you would consent to a DNA test?"

"Wow! Pregnant huh? I guess that would scare anyone into leaving. Sure, sure I'll consent to the test. Sookie, if you are listening, I'd like to see you when this is over. I really miss you. We all do."

"Thank you Sam. We'll head out to another commercial break, and get you set up for testing."

Amelia turned to me, "Well Sooks, Sam was always the 'nice' guy. I'm sure he'd do right by you if he is the father." I couldn't talk, this day was so emotional, and we still had three more guys to go.

I got up to get a drink and to be honest, just get some space between me and the TV screen. I was overwhelmed with guilt for not talking to these guys then. Would they resent me for running away? Bill clearly didn't care, but Sam did. He would probably raise my daughter as his own even if she wasn't. I missed my little girl, I left her with my neighbor to come here. Mrs. Forbes loved Sarah as her own granddaughter. My mind break was over when I heard Lafayette introduce the next guy.

"Alright, folks, let me welcome to the stage, Eric Northman. Eric, welcome to the show."

My eyes bugged out, he looked just as good as he did two years ago! His hair was longer but still as gorgeous as ever.

"Thank you Lafayette. I'm intrigued as to who wanted to reconnect with me."

"Eric, take a look at the screen over there, do you know who that is?"

"My God, it's Sookie! Is she here? Why would she bring me here to reconnect?"

Lafayette put a hand on Eric's arm, "Eric, Sookie ran away two years ago because she was pregnant. She wanted to know who the father was but was embarrassed to ask. Would you consent to a DNA test?"

"Yes, of course I will! I have to say, I never saw myself with kids, but knowing that I might be the father of Sookie's, I'm just floored. I could be a dad!" He smiled that wonderful smile I knew.

"So, this is a good thing? Do you and Sookie have a history?"

"This is a good thing, I'm actually kind of excited! And yes, we did have some history. We dated for a while off and on. Nothing too serious, but this changes a lot. I will want to be part of my child's life. Tell me, Lafayette, is it a girl or a boy?"

"It's a girl, but she isn't here. Only Sookie is here today. Let's get you set up for the testing. After this break, we confront the two remaining men."

"Wait, can she hear me? Sookie, if you are listening, please, I want to talk to you. I've tried to find you, but your brother wouldn't give me any information."

"Alright, Eric, I understand your concern, Sookie has agreed to come out after we speak with all of the potential fathers. Let's get you set up to get tested." Turning to face the audience, "Ok, let's take another commercial break."

I was absolutely stunned at his words. "I guess maybe he felt the same way I did. Maybe we could get back together after all this time?"

Amelia just stared at me, "Um, Sook, you don't know who the father is yet, let's take it one step at a time, ok?"

"Ugh, you're right Ames, we still have two more guys to confront. Oh, look they are coming back. I'm more nervous now!"

"Ladies and gentleman, we have heard from our guest, Ms. Sookie Stackhouse about her side of the story. She knows that what she did was wrong hiding from the truth, but wants to come clean and find out who her baby's daddy is. We still have two more men to bring out. Let's get started again shall we? Let's welcome to the stage, Alcide Herveaux." The crowd applauded and he sat down with Lafayette.

"Welcome to the show Alcide."

"Thank you, it's great to be here. So who is looking for me? I have been very curious since I got the call to come here."

"Take a look at the monitor over there, do you recognize that person?"

Alcide ran his hand through his hair, "Uh, yeah, I do, it's Sookie Stackhouse; but what does this have to do with me?"

Lafayette looked at the crowd with raised eyebrows, and then turned back to Alcide. "Well, it seems that Ms. Stackhouse has a little girl and has named you as a potential father."

Alcide's face dropped and his head fell into his hands. It took a few minutes for him to look up again. He blew a huge breath out before he spoke, "I gotta tell ya man, I don't know what to say to this. I'm not denying the fact that the kid could be mine, but I'm not prepared for this in my life right now. I just took over my father's business and recently got engaged. This might change things in my life but if this is my kid, I will support it the best way I can."

"So, will you consent to a DNA test?"

"Uh, yeah, I will, I don't think I have much of a choice in the matter. I want to know if I need to make some changes. Where do I go?"

I watched Alcide walk off the stage sullen. I felt sorry for bringing him into this, but I knew I had to cover every option. He was always very nice to me and very respectful. "Ames, I did say that I didn't expect anything from the father right? I mean I have been doing ok, just me and Sarah, I don't need any help. I'm starting to regret coming here."

"Sookie, don't say that, you know it's been killing you not knowing. You are doing the right thing finding out."

"NO! Amelia, look at what I've done! I haven't seen any of them in almost two years and they all think that I want something from them. I should have just kept her to myself!" I fell onto the floor in a heap and sobbed.

Amelia didn't say anything, she just held onto me while I cried. My body shook as the tears flowed. I wasn't sure if I could listen to what Quinn would say. I knew he was the last one they had to interview. One of the production assistants brought my brother in and Jason took Amelia's spot cradling me. Jason held on to me and let me work through my pain.

At some point Amelia went to tell the producers that I wasn't in any shape to finish this. If they wanted to continue, they could, but she and Jason were going to take me out of here.

Because this wasn't a live show, Lafayette made his way back to see me before we left. I was embarrassed to have brought these guys here under false pretense and even more ashamed of myself for falling apart like I did. At least I kept it together on camera.

Lafayette asked, "Ms. Stackhouse, Sookie, please let me tell you how sorry I am at the pain this has caused you. Believe me when I say that hurting people is not the intention of this show. You came to us for help, and we are providing the information you want. I'd like to finish the segment, I'm sure after all of this you would like to know who the father is, right?"

Still sniffling, I said, "I'm so sorry Mr. Reynolds, I never thought it would be this hard to find out. I almost wish I had not come. This feels worse than not knowing. But you are right, I have come too far not to find out. Let me fix my makeup and I will be fine."

Jason wrapped me in his arms, "Sook, are you sure you're up for this?"

"Yes, Jason, thank you for helping me, but if I walk away now, it will eat me up not knowing. I have to know; I need to know."

In a buzz of activity, the hair, makeup and wardrobe people swarmed to make me look presentable. Lafayette waited until I was ready before he spoke. "Sookie, look, I have one more fella to interview on stage, I promise it will be quick. After that I want to bring you back on stage as well as the five guys to give the results of the DNA test. You can have Jason and Amelia with you if it helps you. How does that sound?"

"Lafayette, thank you for all you have done, I will get through it. Is it alright if I address the guys before you read the results?"

"Of course, now, let me get back to do my last interview and then we can finish up." With that, he turned and was out of the room faster than he came in.

Jason stayed with me and Amelia while we watched Lafayette interview Quinn.

"Let's welcome to the show that last of our potential fathers, John Quinn. Welcome to the show John."

"Call me Quinn, and who wants to see me? I'm pretty popular, you know, I'm all over the internet, it's not like I can't be found." Quinn was always the cocky one of the group. He had been a football star in college, but now was just a washed up player coaching for Pop Warner.

"Alright, Quinn, take a look at the monitor there, do you remember who that is?"

Quinn let out a chuckle, "Yeah I did her a few times, Sookie was an easy score, what does she want with 'The Quinn'?"

"You are full of yourself aren't you? Well, Sookie left college after graduation because she was pregnant, and you are one of the potential fathers. Will you consent to a DNA test?"

Quinn dropped his head back and roared with laughter. "This would be funny if I could father children. I had an accident when I was a kid and it left me sterile, so sure I'll consent to the test, but I can put money that the kid ain't mine. Where should I go? I have a reality show I need to audition for."

With that, Quinn was off the stage and Lafayette was alone. "Well folks this has been an exciting show huh? After we come back from our break, Sookie will confront the men who she ran away from two years ago. I know I am curious as to who the baby daddy is, aren't you?"

Another production assistant came to get us for the final scene placing. I insisted that Amelia and Jason stay with me, I was going to need all the support I could get. The lights were out and all I could see where the production people rustling around getting everyone into position. It was too dark to see who was now on the stage.

When the lights came back up, I could see all of my former lovers sitting across from me. Lafayette broke the tension for everyone. "Well alrighty then, Sookie, you asked to address the guys, now is your time while we wait for the DNA results. I want ya'll to know that I expect you to behave like the adults you is. I will not have any chair throwing or fighting. This ain't Jerry Springer after all!"

I wasn't sure I could do this after all. The five men I slept with were all staring at me. Bill and Quinn could have shot lightening bolts out of their eyes. Alcide, I saw pity. Sam and Eric, I'm not sure, but they were both smiling at me.

I stood up so I could address them all properly, "Um, first off, I'd like to thank you all for coming today. I know this isn't the best way to be meeting you all again, but I had to know. I'm sorry for not telling you that I was pregnant. I was ashamed that I did not know who the father is. I want you to know that I do NOT expect anything from you. I didn't do this for money. I needed to know for my own piece of mind. I will not be seeking child support, and if you want, you can sign away your rights as the father. My daughter and I have been doing alright on our own. I have Amelia and a neighbor to watch her if needed. Please, please believe me when I tell you that I don't want anything from you."

Lafayette turned to me and asked if they could show the picture of my little girl. "Yes, I think now would be a good time to show them all why I had no idea who the father was. Go ahead, put the picture up." The monitor that had previously held my picture, now showed the smiling face of my daughter. "This is my daughter, Sarah Stackhouse."

I sat down because my legs were weak. Today has been exhausting, and I am minutes away from finding out who her father is. Amelia and Jason both grabbed a hand for support. I was preparing myself for the worst, when I heard someone clear their throat.

Eric said, "Sookie, she looks just like you! She is beautiful."

Quinn piped up, "Yeah, cute kid, too bad she isn't mine; this would make me look great for the new show I'm doing." I swear that man has no filter, I rolled my eyes.

Sam chimed in, "Sook, I think she resembles you alright."

Alcide and Bill didn't say a word. I'm kind of glad, because I was preparing myself for rejection. It would be easier if less people spoke.

Someone appeared on stage to hand Lafayette an envelope. I gripped Amelia and Jason's hands so tight they whimpered. I gave them an apologetic half smile. This was it, go time, ready for takeoff. My mind was going a mile a minute, I was starting to panic. Jason let go of my hand to pull me into a hug. I gladly buried my head into his chest. The less I heard the better.

Lafayette dramatically opened the envelope as he spoke, "In the matter of who is Sarah Stackhouse's father … the father is … Eric Northman!"

In that minute, several things happened, Alcide, Quinn, and Bill all got up and ran off the set smiling. Sam looked dejected, but seemed to be happy. Eric was crying. I didn't see him get up until he was right in front of me. With tears running down his face, and the biggest smile on his face, he put his arms out to me asking for permission to hold me. I'm not sure why that made me happy, but in that instant I fell into his arms.

We held on to each other for what seemed like forever, we were both sobbing. I could hear him speaking faintly into my hair, "My little girl, I have a little girl! Oh Sookie!"

Before I could realize what was going on, I was being carried off stage. I tried to protest, but Eric simply said, "Shh, Sookie, I'm just taking you off stage so we can talk. I didn't think you wanted to do that on camera." I just nodded.

Jason and Amelia hovered around us. "It's ok guys, we are just going to talk."

We went back to the room I had been using, and he set me on my feet. I wasn't sure how to start, thankfully he did.

"Sookie, first I want to explain who I was with when you saw me. I had been getting some help in my economics class from the TA, Selah. She was always coming on to me, but I swear, I never did anything with her."

"Eric, we weren't exclusive, you don't have to tell me this."

"But that's where you are wrong, Sookie. I do need to tell you. The day that I called you to let you know I wouldn't be out that night, she blackmailed me. She said that I needed to go out with her and act as her boyfriend to make her ex jealous, or she would fail me."

"Oh, my God, Eric, that is awful! Did you report her?"

"Yes, I did. Actually half way through our supposed date, another student came up to me at the bar and said she had done the same thing to him. We made plans to meet with the Professor the next day. That might be why you didn't see me before graduation. I was in and out of hearings about this. I had to retake the class over the summer in order to graduate."

"I'm so sorry about everything, Eric. I was so scared and I didn't know who the father was. It was easier to run away. I was hurt when I saw you with that girl, Selah. I did a really stupid thing sleeping with those other guys. I understand if you don't want anything to do with us."

He dropped down onto his knees in front of where I was sitting, "Sookie, I don't want to be away from you or Sarah! Like I said, I tried to find you, but Jason wouldn't tell me where you were. You must have had your number blocked, because, believe me, I have tried. I know it's a lot to ask, but would you like to start over? I've missed so much in both of your lives. I don't want to miss any more."

"Well, I think I would like to start over, you and me. I'm not sure where you are living these days, but we have a great house in Upstate NY. I don't know if I am comfortable leaving. We are right on Lake Ontario, and I just love it."

He laughed, "Uh, the funny thing is, I am currently in between living arrangements. I have a restaurant in Shreveport, but have been looking to relocate. The area isn't the same without you. So I can move and start up wherever you are if that's alright with you. I'd like to be close for Sarah."

I nodded because I started to cry. Eric hugged me, "Please don't cry, I promise I will do my best to make everything better." With that he pulled back to look into my eyes. They were so intense, I swear I could see love in them. Before I could react, he was kissing me. His kisses were always so passionate and intense. I felt my panties dampen. His tongue explored mine as we deepened the kiss.

He pulled back so we could catch our breath resting his forehead on mine. "I can't believe I am a dad! Oh, I should call Pam! She will be so excited, a little girl to spoil!."

"I totally forgot about Pam, what is she doing these days?"

"You know my sister, always has something working for her. Currently, she is in Los Angeles, doing costume design on an HBO series. Something about vampires, I think. She always told me I was stupid for not looking for you harder."

"That Pam!" We both smiled. "So, we are leaving to go back home tomorrow, would you like to come along to meet your daughter?"

His smiled widened and his eyes glassed over, "I would love nothing more! Thank you!"

"You're welcome. Oh, and I meant what I said on stage, I am not looking for money from you at all. I want to be clear on that."

"I understand, but would it be ok if I did give you money for her? It could go into a savings account for when she grows up? I'd really like to support her, and you the best way I know how."

"I hadn't thought of that, but I suppose it would only be fair, since you are her dad, and we have paperwork to prove it. We can look into it when we get to NY."

"Oh, Sookie, you have made me so happy! Come on let's get going, I have a little girl to meet!" He kissed me again, and pulled me to my feet.

And with that, we walked hand and hand out of the door. Neither one of us knew what the future would hold, but were willing to give it a try. At that moment, all was right with the world.


End file.
